Joel Burns tells gay teens "it gets better" http://www.joelburns.com

Ramona Quimby

I can't believe it! They are making a movie of Ramona.
Does anyone else even know who Ramona is?
 
I freakin' loved that show. I never read the books but I can remember watching the show really early on the weekend mornings. I just found out that the show was made in 1988. 

I really am old.

Ramona is the cutest kid. 

I can hardly remember what happened in the show, there were only 10 episodes. 

I really wish I could watch it now. I hope the movie is good. Here is the trailer: Ramona and Beezus

 

Secret gay movies

Don't you just love it when you are watching a movie and you are enjoying it because it is a good movie. AND THEN, out of the blue, some of the main characters are LESBIANS?!

Yey. SURPRISE!!

Aaaand they are not single freakos who have a lot of cats, and they are gorgeous, and they are believable, and they don't die at the end just before it gets good, how freaking awesome.

Movies this has happened in that I have watched recently:

Precious
Everybody's fine
4.3.2.1.
Whip It


OK, not Whip It. But its such a good Girl Power movie that it should be included. Any one know anymore secretly lesbian movies?

 

Why did I watch that?

We just watched, The Human Centipede.
When I first heard about it I thought it would be about adding extra limbs to one person.

HOW WRONG WAS I?!


I'm not going to explain the concept because I don't want that written on my blog.
I don't think it was a very good film. The guy doing it was really creepy and what he was doing was disgusting, but if you took the concept out of the movie then it would be boring.

The ending was annoying because I want to know what happens next but I really don't want to see the second film. Especially if the acting is as bad as it was in this movie. I guess they were the only actors they could get that would want to play such roles.

To be honest, I wouldn't even watch it for a second time. There are not many films I would say that about. I'm glad we rented another film to watch later so I don't go to sleep thinking about it... I am thinking about it now though... I have so many questions. Like, I know that it was supposedly medically accurate but how did they pee? and how did the second two drink? How long was the time frame of the movie because wouldn't the second two died of dehydration/starvation? How many days can you live without water? Googled it. 3 days. Was it because they were put on a drip? I bet it was. Also do they have tongues? Like, could they taste? Gross. Gross. Gross. What if they were sick? OMG. 

I always think when I'm watching a horror movie, what would I do? and then I realise, I would never be in that situation. For example, the two girls get a flat tyre and have no signal in the middle of nowhere. What would I do? Check if I can change it myself. (no I cannot. Damn I'm such a bad lesbian.)  See if I can get a phone signal within view of the car. If I can't, STAY IN THE CAR all night with the doors locked. 

Do not go into the woods wearing only heals, short shorts and a boob tube. It's good advice.

Mmmm... Sushi

Why do all lesbians love sushi?

I think it's delicious and so do all the lesbians that I know, find me a lesbian who doesn't like sushi and I will not believe you.

I think it's because the salmon is so soft in your mouth. (that was not meant to sound rude)

I just ate all you can eat sushi in the best sushi place in town. You have to eat everything you order or they charge you for what you don't eat. My goodness we ordered a lot of sushi. I feel like I have eaten a lifetimes worth of sushi in one night.  I'm worried that I will never be able to eat it again. I will do it again. Perhaps not soon.
I just typed "lesbian sushi" into Google. (I have no shame I will type anything into Google) and I found two things. One is this:
 
Phyllis: Dean Porter, you're demoting her.
Alice: I'm taking Phyllis to Murakami.
Bette: Lesbian Sushi.
Phyllis: Really? Lesbians have their own special kind of sushi?

And two is that if you type the word lesbian into Google, it doesn't auto-complete. Is it that Google thinks lesbian is a word that shouldn't be searched?! Hmn lets see what else you can type into Google... you can type, queer, dyke, gay and they all auto-complete with things like gay pride, gaydar, gay test, queer theory, queer as folk, etc but if I type lesbian, nothing. The only other thing that I can think of to type in that doesn't auto-complete is the word porn. 

Google thinks you shouldn't search for lesbians or porn, God forbid you type in lesbian porn!!

I just think that kinda sucks. You know what does not suck though? Sushi.

You come out to a couple of people and suddenly everybody is gay...

So after my recent coming out. 

Which is going awesomely btw. (I love to talk about being gay and in LOVE openly.)

I have found out that not one but two other women at my work are gay and not only gay but MARRIED. howfreakingawesomeisthat?! 

I do not, however, work in the same department as them or even in the same building. Buuuuut I have a sneaking suspicion that one of the people I came out to recently, told one of these gay ladies that I am also in the circle-of-trust. Why do I think this? She totally did the Lesbian-Backwards-Head-Nod. AND smiled. She's gotta know. I secretly hope she does.

Michael: Can you tell who's gay and who's not?

Dwight: Of course.

Michael: What about Oscar?

Dwight: Absolutely not.

Michael: Well he is.

Dwight: Well, he's not dressed in women's clothes, so...

Coming out is difficult because you never know what reaction you are going to get. Luckily for me, the only truly negative reactions that I have had are from people I don't want to be friends with anyway.  But coming out is one thing. Working out who is gay and who is just a superdry fan is super difficult. 

Michael: Do some research. Find out if there's a way to tell just by looking at them.

Dwight: Jim told me you could by gaydar online.

  

I often find myself having the is she/isn't she conversation but unless she has her hands down another girls trousers and is glued to her face, how do you really know? At Norwich Pride 2009 a woman was speaking about how lesbians check each other out when they see another could-be-lesbian but they never do the head nod, or smile when secretly we all want the head nod and the smile because we all like to feel a part of the secret club that is LESBIANISM.

So if you see me in the street and I do the head nod at you, its because I think you are, or should be, batting for my team. 

Bears. Beats. Battlestar Galactica.

Jim: Question. What kind of bear is best?

Dwight: That's a ridiculous question.

Jim: False. Black Bear

Dwight: That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought--

Jim: Fact. Bears eat beats. Bears. Beats. Battlestar Galactica.

Dwight: Bears do not.... What's going on? What are you doing?!

Paaaah hahah ahaha haha ha!!!!!!!!

This is clearly the best prank that Jim pulls on Dwight.

Jim turns up to work dressed as Dwight and depicts his mannerisms and character perfectly. 

BEARS. BEATS. BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.

 

This made me think about dressing up. This weekend, I am going to a drag party. I so wanna go "bro" ala Halloween 2008 but I fear my bazoomas are unsquishable. I don't wanna look like a guy with moobs and an eyeliner goatee. (Oh, perry, you've drawn a bit of a beard on). I hear that cling film makes for a bad choice for strappingthemdown. Waay too steamy in there. And I also hear that duct tape really rips your skin off. What is a girl to do? Someone said wear a sports bra that is too small for you. I just so happen to have one of those lying around but I tried that one, in fact I tried two brasthatstrapyoudown on at once when I was Edward Cullen, I wish Scissorhands. I was still boobilicious. damn. Also I couldn't be bothered to make more scissor fingers so I just used forks. One of them, I found in my room, from the day before. It still had food on. Gross. Man I miss the freeze sometimes. Themed parties are my favourite.

Kelly: Hey! A margarita-karaoke-Christmas party! That sounds like fun.

Angela: No. That is not a party, there is only one party and it's hosted by the party planning committee, and it starts at 3 o'clock.

Kevin: Then why are there two flyers?

Karen: Oh, I understand that this is confusing for everyone, let me explain. There's a party that starts at 3--

Kevin: Right...

Karen: And then there's a way more fun party that starts at 2:45.

Pam: Right, and if you're interested in the way more fun party, all the info can be found here, on our more brightly colored flyer.